December 3, 2013 at 7:13am
- Halfway through, it just becomes Mary Poppins starring Jewel, and nobody notices.
- Carrie Underwood takes a Louisville Slugger to both headlights of Hitler’s pickup truck.
- The hills are alive, but you know, like, they have eyes.
- A panicked look on Underwood’s face as she forgets “My Favorite Things” and has to make up the lyrics: “Raindrops on racists and nipples on chickens.”
- Accidental swears.
- I hope they keep the scene where the kids are lined up by height. Oh wait, that’s every scene.
- Funkier new disco arrangements by Nile Rodgers and Hammerstein.
- All the kids’ voices deepen four octaves between rehearsal and performance.
- All the success of NBC’s last musical theatre endeavour, Smash.
- A convoluted backstory to explain Underwood’s southern accent.
- Sets that look an awful lot like the Cliffhangers set from The Price is Right.
- Changing a few lyrics for sponsors: “How do you solve a problem like eczema? Cortizone!”
- An acknowledgment of what the lonely goatherd does when he gets really lonely.
- By popular demand, the Ricola jingle.
- “La” breaks up with “Do Re Mi,” stating, “Is that all I am to you, a note to follow so?”